Meter Down..Pleease

Human life involves a lot many inter-dependences and dependences several of which one would love to do without. My dependence on these auto-rickshaw drivers falls pretty much in this category. Normally I would ask a person I grudge to go to hell. But it doesn't happen so with this exalted class of people whom I curse more when they are not there than when they are there. Surprising as it may seem, but working for a company where automated incriminating mails are sent to managers if one arrives a moment later than 10 a.m., I have found myself gazing wistfully at even lorries passing by in the morning. It is almost an interview that I am subjected to every morning when I endeavor to seize an opportunity to get an auto-ride to my office. I have to explain in detail to the interviewer (whilst other prospective interviewers carrying prospective opportunities slip by) the destination, that i know the way to the destination, that there is a preferred path to the destination, that I everyday go to this destination, that there is a certain tolerable maximum fare that I would like to part with, etc etc. But unlike most interviews, rejection here is almost a cinch (so I recommend travelling on autos when you are going for some grisly interview..sort of prepares your for rejection ).About three hundred days spent in Bangalore and interactions with as many members of this esteemed class of the society (the ones entitled to rebuke their own customers) have given me great insight into the different sub-classes existent in this class.

There are a few auto-drivers who seem to be going somewhere and yet nowhere because they say no to any destination name that you propose to them. I have been inclined to ask them where actually they want to go instead of being asked where I want to go. Amongst them, there are some who add a personalized grimace and twitch to the 'no' as if to say "What a pauper! wants to go this close when I am ready to go to Chennai". But I will be unfair if I don't admit that I have had the fortune of polite refusals as well and even acceptance from one amongst say twenty.

There are some drivers who get genuinely offended if you know the way and you acting smart try to make them follow it. On such occasions ( for example if I ask the driver to take a left turn and not a right turn because the left leads to where I want to go), I have even been asked to get down and look for some other means. But then if saving time is what you want , it is better to close your eyes and be seated rather than getting down and starting the interview process all over again. But then there are also some who reluctantly follow my dictated directions while either complaining brazenly about what he would extract out of this deal if he doesn't take roundabout routes or rebuffing me in Kannada (some prefer Hindi too, the language I understand).

But the best part of the entire affair is the discussion over the fare (I guess somebody fixed a fare-meter into auto-rickshaws just to avoid the same). But the poeple of this class have a serious dislike for the fare-meter and your liking for it. I have always seen something written in bold letters inside autos about your calling the police if the driver demands extra fare. But I suppose, you can only intimidate kids using the police threats. The drivers are too grown up for that. So after showing the displeasure over the place you want to go to, the driver pretends to be making a sacrifice. Only that he would need anything between one and a half times to five times the actual fare. There are some who don't like this multiplication business and simply shock you with round figures like Rs.50 /Rs.100 for small distances. This figure goes up unimaginably in the event of rainfall, strikes or if you appear to be in a great need of transport.

The story doesn't end if you have persuaded an auto-driver to use the fare-meter (without multiplications). Triumphant as you might feel, but the meters can get as crooked as the drivers themselves. Despite following the same route everyday, I have noticed differences in the fare that are more significant than what can be introduced by just taking wider turns. So you never know if the fixed price deal or the meter deal would be inappropriate.

Yet even with all the follies and fuss, I cannot downplay the importance of the auto-rickshaw in my life. If I do not see many of the familiar black and yellow objects passing by, I get to know it is either me or my job that is not safe.